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YND 8: Shagging Other Dogs

April 29, 2018


Our hosts face their greatest challenge to date, writing a sincere piece on the theme of canine extra shagging. Never one to shirk a challenge, they grit their teeth, rise to the challenge, and other euphemisms. This week also features a piece by listener David Grumball. 


To submit your pieces, email yourenearlydead@gmail.com






I can be heartless 

Torn up, tearing


I’d take out my displeasure

On your fat behind.

Safe, that the feeling is mutual

That the mortar is working the pestle, equally. 


We’re just the same at this point, performing 

To provide empty fulfilment. 

When that euphoric crest

Breaks, and tumbles.

It feels natural.





Did our grandparents stray.


I like to think they never looked

at anyone else but they were only human.

They were not always as I knew them.

Settled like tall ships in a harbour.


I would not like to think

That I would think different

If I knew those ships sailed apart

or found second wind.

If those old dogs went sea

and taught themselves new tricks.





Other dogs


I'm low to the ground as I look around

I don't look at detail.  I work in colours.

Cool blue and soothing green make me relax

After the grey I face everyday.   

But then I see a deep, warm red

My breath quickens

I'm not close enough

But as I move near the colour fades

I'm blinded by the bright white light of love





If I spend time with you I get this warm glow

lying in the grass pointing out ufos

I think everyone gets it from someone they love

at 2pm in the park baseball to glove

"you're an idiot" I say, inbeweeen fits of laughter

you sit up and fade away looking back at a disaster

"those were the last words he said,

as I lay in that bed"

door slammed

wedding unplanned

"Looking back on it I guess it wasn't meant to be"

for the fouth time the gravity

of a six year relationship turning into happily married now replaced with a cavity

sinks in

Looking up into caring eyes

the world just flys by

everything beginning to shake as tears form 

like waterfalls pouring from an earthquake from terrified terriforming

terrified that every relationship might slip from one

slip up

one sip too much

an escape

from the hate

and berate


maybe instead of people saying it's not meant to be

it should be

just for me

this once

cut the fat off

keep the fat on

let me change my mind

and sometimes be wrong

I'm sorry I did what I did

I know there's no going back

but knowing the pain that there is now

I'll take the flak

You're angry from work

you don't have to sit with me

I know we're both busy

but can you PLEASE..


Around the park

dogs bark

and snap her back into reality


"Hey are you ok?

I'm here for you.”






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