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YND 11: Big Money

July 3, 2018


After weeks of solidly sensible stanza, will our hosts rise to the bait and write a silly one? The answer is: No. No. Yes. To find out what that means, you’ll just have to listen. 





The Best Deal 


I got the Best Deal 

And three TVs in my room 

I like to use the the phone 

But no one seems to be home 


I got the Best Deal but 

Doing nothing I’d have more 

These white trash are just like me 

But they’re poor 


I got the Best Deal 

But that bum has more than me 

8 billion dollars more 

And he sleeps there for free 


I got the Best Deal but 

They won’t let me lock the door 

I leave things as I want them 

But they clean them off the floor 


My wife has her own room 

So I can be alone 

With Mcdonalds for dinner 

In my empty white home 





Big Money 


You’re always unbearable when I’m not in the mood 

And vice versa 

And in fact, of course — everything is, 

I’m being idiotic. 

Moods are stupid. 


A rapid list of what’s wrong 

what’s not happening 

All coinciding at the same instance: 

right now. 


"Just get over it," I think 

“Have a bath, and get over it” 

I help with the main thing, 

Then I say “Have a bath” 

And walk away, downstairs 

Back to my book. 


As I begin to read, 

My mind is distracted 

That in fifty years I hope I’ll get to say: 

"Let me be devoted, a little while longer 

Yours is the only love 

I've ever truly wanted” 


I stop. 

Because I’ll never know when it’ll all end 

I should go and say that to you now. 





Big Money 


I got a big pot o’ honey 

They call me big money 

I’m a storage hunter 

With all them other munters 

But no one knows the real me 

They just go off a what they see 

Big money, big funny, big dummy 


Got a pot full of fam, pot full of friends 

They’ll be there till the endz 

My pots full of life, pots full of strife 

Pots full of love from above and beyond 

The millis don’t make me nor will they take me 

Big money just ain’t me 



And given that Matt requested Trump translation of Ben’s piece, here’s the the first line in Trump speak: 


This is a very good looking group of people here.

Could I just go around so I know who the hell I'm talking to... I got the best deal.

My hands can hit a golf ball 285 yards. 


(Courtesy of http://www.donaldtrumptranslator.com/)



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